Different things are bubbling in my mind right now. You know this feeling that you thought you had it, and then it disappears again. Everything seem to fit together, but then it does not…
I am circling around the themes of re-presenting and being, on being dependent and independent, being disconnected and connected. This morning I was participating in a beautiful project here in Copenhagen called Teach Each Other Mondays, a platform to meet and listen to and talk about each others practices related to performing arts – having time to reflect together. And here the theme for me became about being body and being mind. Can you be – really be – in your body and reflect intellectual at the same time? Are this opposites that never become one? Because it seems that you cannot be in your body without stepping into the physicality or emotional layers of that body and trespass the disruptions of our thinking system. I am a meditator, and meditation ultimately is about letting go of your thoughts to step into the stillness. And in that stillness you can find an immense beauty and “feeling” of connectedness with something we can call the Unified Field of Consciousness (it is not really a feeling because the moment you describe it as such you will be out of the stillness). But most of us can’t hold this state for very long – that takes a lot of practice – because we will start to release waste from our mind system – thoughts that have not been properly archived in the brain, things we have forgotten – our body might also react to the stillness releasing pain fx. The state of being… we were born into that. But the moment after, we learned how to relate to others, how dependent we are of the social (first our parents, then larger society), we learn to represent, we learn the thinking that we need to be in our mind. Later we learn that being smart using your thinking system and intellect is what paves the way for success (a masculine way to interact with society – but that I will come back to in a later blog). So there we are dependent on our emotional relationship with others, learning to disintegrate our body and to re-present our mentors and peers. The exact same things that keeps us being erupted and disturbed in our living, the demands society makes on us that creates separation and feelings of emptiness. In reality what we need to learn to be happy human beings is to be independent emotionally and take responsibility for everything we are both light and dark, to be in our body to transgress ourselves and to just be in stillness in order to connect to the real truth about who we are and how much bigger the universe is. How we are stardust, nothing and everything at the same time, existing through time and space.
I am also attacking a lot of books at the moment, and here Donna Haraway is waiting for me – but already now I am deeply inspired by her concept of making KIN and just the title of her book “Staying with the Trouble” – yes we have to allow for confusing thoughts, have to leave space for questions, for circling and not being congruent in how we think. In order to disrupt our habitual thinking and opening cracks for new insights.
I would be happy to hear from you if any of my thoughts resonate. If you have insights I could use to stretch myself even more; books, texts, ideas to share.